Past and Peace

 

It was the closure I never knew I needed, it came in a dream, and I woke up with the vividness still lingering in my mind. All the hurt deeply rooted in the unspoken pain I ignored for years was given a much-welcomed atonement.

He came to me in a dream, we were both surprised to see each other, and I felt the emotions I once felt for him; the moment I saw him from afar; my heart raced with excitement and gladness, a moment where I thought I belonged to someone, I am his, he was mine, and everything around us went a blur.

I would like to believe that the dream is the unspoken apology- my heart sought healing for a while until it numbed from waiting until I forgot that there was a wound that scarred my capacity to open myself to anyone again. 

 In that dream, the flashback came like a flood seeping through every crevice of the past we once shared; his smile brightened up the room, and I was reminded of how much I know him- and how much I don’t, and how much I wished everything didn’t end that way.

Maybe my mind curated this as wishful thinking. This lucidity is ever so palpable, so accurate that if I didn’t know any better, I would have been convinced that it was reality. I do not believe in a multiverse, but at that moment, I can definitely say that we met once again on the parallel side of this existence for the last hello and a final goodbye. I woke up that morning with a smile, a sigh of relief, and an unfamiliar feeling of lightness- maybe this is what peace feels like.