To the person I neglected for so long

I’m sorry if I didn’t prioritize you. I’ve never really seen your worth before. I always thought that what happened to you are consequences of your ill- decisions, until I saw you struggle so hard and reached the brink of breaking down. There were days when I thought you are invincible- that you are strong and way above your head, but I never really thought of what you are facing when you are alone, the fears that you mask with fake wit and the anxiety that you cover with your smile. I thought you were just insecure, maybe because I have memorized you so much, yet I don’t really know you that well. It’s ironic how I am able to judge you because I know how hard you’re trying to make yourself feel fine amidst the chaos that is burning you down. I know there are days when you try to convince yourself with your fantasies- to a point that you feel like you are really living them, but I know how much you’ve cried over the heart breaks, even without tears, I know how hard you’ve struggled to move on.

I have been so unfair to you; I have neglected you so much that I have thought of you so less. Whenever people say good things about you, I know that you find it hard to believe, because you know yourself too much yet you know yourself too little.

My prayer is that you see what they see in you, and that you realize that you are stronger than you think, and that everything you’ve been through is a testament of your courage and resilience.

My wish is that you find your inner beauty, the one that shines on people who see you as a good person, I wish that it’s enough validation that despite the mess you’ve made in the past, there will always be beauty in the abstract. I know you have a good heart, a compassionate soul and a relentless faith in God, I hope you learn to embrace your flaws and make them your mark, a signature engraved in your skin. One day, everything will make sense, and whatever you are feeling, always know that God has a plan for you.

To the person I neglected for so long, I am sorry, maybe its about time I give you the love you keep on giving to others undeserving. 

From now on, I promise to take care of you, and put you first. After all, I can only give what is overflowing.

To the person I neglected for a very long time, forgive me. I promise to take care of you from now on, because to love you is not self indulgent, but to love you is pertinent and necessary.

To the person I have neglected to love, staring back at me, a reflection of my shattered pieces, I have come to collect and make you whole again.