The Year That Was 2018

This year has been a battle of enthusiasm, melancholy and mostly whether to eat at samgyupsalamat or not, but for the most part of it, this year has been about triumph.

I couldn't help but compare myself to the people my age, like my friends who are now doctors and successful entrepreneurs and I can only hope that I have imparted even a minuscule of knowledge to my students ( and former students) and have served the best version of myself to them as their teacher.

This year has been the most challenging year for me, I have questioned my capability as a teacher, a student, a son, and a brother, but all these were answered by one divine intervention, and that is my greatest take away this year- I have found my faith. 

I can still remember that time when I almost quit my MS because I was told that what I made was not good enough. It took a blow on my ego but I kept my faith, knowing that whatever the outcome would be, I still have Him as my adviser, my guide and my Savior. In the end, everything ended well. 

I have reached destinations I only see in books and brochures, I was able to swim at Nusa Penida in Bali, had my photo opportunity with the twins of Petronas in Malaysia and saw not just one merlion, but three, in Singapore. In all these adventures, I was able to unravel an act of untapped courage that can only be realized in moments of self-discovery.

Rejections, as it turned out, brought out the best in me, while I cannot surmount the agony I felt as I silently take it all in, I am still grateful that it didn't change me, I still have the same optimism as before and I can still wear my heart on my sleeve, I have learned that we meet people as lessons and they should be welcome to leave anytime until such person comes and shows us that we are more than deserving and enough of a love that stays.

This year, I made peace with the things I cannot change, with the baggage that was needed to be left behind, and I have learned to accept closures that were not said. It's magnificent how a whisper of prayer can change everything and it's overwhelming how acceptance can overflow once you allow God in your life. 

Like what my muse once said, "The relationship we need to work the most on is the one we have with ourselves. We have to work on embracing the idea that we are worthy of love, even at our darkest and ugliest. We have to work on accepting vulnerability, and how that can and must co-exist with strength and independence." 

I am grateful to my friends, my family, and my mentors, for the touches of laughter in the mundane and humdrum and for being with me through the challenges I have overcome because of their love, support, and guidance, and finally for showing me that I am enough.

As I welcome the year to come, I am allowing myself, with arms wide open, to accept new adventures, hopefully not forgetting to be grateful, humble, and above all, faithful to God, with full trust and understanding that with Him, all things are possible.