For You if You are Feeling Stuck

Dear  Thursday self.

You are in a state of discomfort, no, nothing is hurting right now, but you do not feel comfortable. You are neither sad nor happy, just a little less okay, I say this because I know that you are not used to be less than your hundred percent. You feel stuck as if life has left you while it continues to revolve, rotate, and prosper. You are left behind, everyone seems to have their lives together, but yours has stopped. Your comfort zone has become too small for you, you need to get out, but you have no idea how. You read your mind like a book with large fonts shouting your insecurities and anxieties. You think you are a failed potential, people after you have achieved far higher than you. You convinced yourself that life is not a race, yet you are losing anyway.

What happened? You ask yourself, then you recount the days you spent binging on useless screentime scrolling your social media, wishing your life is as glamorous as those in your feed. You feel a little pang of regret, envy, and self loathe. You could have done more, but you chose to do nothing. You count the time by the hour, you keep snoozing your tasks because you think you still have plenty, but you start to rot in your own complacency. No self, this time, there is no sugarcoating, no telling you that you are still acceptable, no helping you to feel a little less wrong about your inadequacy.  Sometimes honesty is the harshest slap, it leaves pain that ripples up to the bones, yes you are angry at yourself, you are frustrated and disappointed, but no, you will not take your life, you will recover.

You will get up early this morning. You will not snooze your alarm clock even though you still have an extra five minutes. You will wash your face with cold water, drink your coffee and brush your teeth, then you will put on your rubber shoes, and you will run. You will work out, without any expectations, you will just run, then you will take a bath, go home, and do the tasks you list on your planner. You will do it one at a time. You will carry yourself to the level of discomfort that you have anticipated to feel.  You are not yet done,  you are still so much more,  you were never less than who you thought you were. You are still capable of every potential you believe you have. Self, stop your pity party and start living the life you have set for yourself. Everything you have thought is still achievable. With God by your side, this will not be your conclusion, this will be your preparation.

Love,

Friday Self